Hello! I'm Leonie. I’m from Malaysia. I am nineteen this year, and I have Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma - a kind of blood cancer. I’m just trying to live my life to the fullest, without any regrets. I'm grateful that I’m still able to wake up to a brand new day and know that I'm still alive.

I refuse to refer to my condition as a disease. I would rather phrase it as a 'series of unfortunate events'.

I learn something new with each passing day. This is the story of my journey, and you're welcome to follow me in every step that I take.

If you would like to learn more about me and my condition, feel free to click on the navigations below. If you have any queries or would just like to say hello, drop me an e-mail at and I'll try to respond as soon as possible!



Tuesday, 21 September 2010
rollercoaster rides.

I have been an ungrateful brat for the past two months plus.

Let me start from the beginning as to why I said so of myself.

When we received the films from my CT scan, my parents and I went to see the doctor right away. As he was comparing the films from my previous scans and my most recent one, I realised that he didn't talked about the size of my tumour first.

Instead, he was mentioning that the cancer cells in my pancreas, liver and both my kidneys have been completely resolved.

While my parents looked absolutely relieved, I was in this state of confusion.

Why in the world is the doctor talking about three organs that is not really relevant to my condition?

So, after the doctor finished explaining the comparisons, I asked him what seemed to be a silly question.

"Doctor, what has my pancreas, liver and my kidneys have to do with my condition?"

Thinking back, I can laugh at how cute I was then.

My whole family assumed that I already knew that my cancer cells had already spread to my pancreas, liver and kidneys. That was in the report from my second CT scan dated the 16th of July. Back then, I was kind of busy recovering from my surgery, so I kind of forgot that there will be a report from that scan. I just found out about the report's contents yesterday after seeing the doctor.

To think that I blogged about how I was on this very fine line between life and death before this.

My mother said there is no point in letting me know anyway. She rather keep me worry-free for two months than to constantly think about my condition. I feel bad that my parents and brother have been worrying about me so much without me realising how major my condition was. Now I understand why my parents have been so reluctant to let me go out of the house and having guests to come over. I owe them a sincere apology, and a big hearty thank you.

My doctor said I was being 'protected'. Oh well. I'll take that.

I'm still in shock over this piece of news. But I'm glad that the cancer cells in said three organs are resolved.

My tumour which was measured to an approximate 11cm from before has reduced to 6cm. Hopefully after two more chemotherapy sessions, the PET scan will show me the results that I want to hear and know. I'm completely lymphoma-free then.

Yesterday's chemo session was tough. I experienced nausea the whole day, and I vomited twice. Sheesh. I'm really glad that's over.

Now, it's back to the usual routine of consuming a variety of medicine.

My doctor told me to study hard for my upcoming SPM examinations. He has confidence I will be able to sit for SPM this year. Sounds good to me! He also said that I'll be able to go for crazy rollercoaster rides after I'm completely cured from this condition. Anna and Jia Ying, this means our trip to Singapore's Universal Studios sounds very possible and relevant after SPM. ;)

And yes, I owe Ming Wei an email. I'm really sorry! My second email account has been problematic recently, so I can't reply just yet. It's been two weeks now. Oh gosh! Please forgive me! I hope you're doing fine! (:

Till the next entry, cheers!

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