Hello! I'm Leonie. I’m from Malaysia. I am nineteen this year, and I have Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma - a kind of blood cancer. I’m just trying to live my life to the fullest, without any regrets. I'm grateful that I’m still able to wake up to a brand new day and know that I'm still alive.

I refuse to refer to my condition as a disease. I would rather phrase it as a 'series of unfortunate events'.

I learn something new with each passing day. This is the story of my journey, and you're welcome to follow me in every step that I take.

If you would like to learn more about me and my condition, feel free to click on the navigations below. If you have any queries or would just like to say hello, drop me an e-mail at and I'll try to respond as soon as possible!



Sunday, 12 September 2010
missing key.

I lost it.

What is it, you may ask?

Well, it refers to my sanity. It also refers to my positive outlook on life. It can refer to the previous enthusiasm I had to fight cancer.

Where is it, you may wonder?

Well, even I myself have no clue. I lost it a few days ago.

If you find it for me, can you give it back to me? I think I really need it.

I'm already losing my social skills to talk and interact with people. I'm already cooped up at home, as if I'm serving a jail sentence. I haven't seen the outside world for ages, except for trips to Malacca and to the hospital for my chemo sessions. I have this constant fear that my friends will leave me and never come back. I'm really scared I can't live life as it was before. I'm afraid my life wouldn't be normal anymore after I'd completed my treatment.

One of my ultimate principles in life, is that I live to eat. Since getting cancer, I already lost the passion to eat. There are so many restrictions. I'm tired of not being able to eat this and that. My diet consists of the same meals everyday. I miss having spicy food. I'm losing weight. I don't have the huge appetite to eat like the last time.

My parents said no to my friends coming over to visit me. Sigh. I understand that they are worried for my health, but they wouldn't understad how lonely I am. At least they get to go out and work. And interact with people. I feel like I can go insane from being kept away from society.

I feel tired and upset. I'm sorry if I sound so emotional, I guess it's due to me being locked up in the house so much for too long. It's been two months, readers. Two months.

I honestly don't know how much longer I can keep up with all of these nonsensical issues.

Cheers. Hope you have a better life than me.

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