I was officially diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Mediastinal Large B-cell Lymphoma in July 2010. I was seventeen. I was in Form 5; my last year of secondary school, preparing to sit for the SPM examinations.

I would consider myself an average teenager - a girl who just wanted to have fun, with her quirks; trying to survive life as a teen.

It all started with me coughing non-stop after a bout of the common flu. Despite making several trips to my family doctor's clinic, the cough just won't seem to go away even after months of being under medication. Several prescriptions of cough drops later, my family doctor suggested to my parents and I to have a chest X-ray done for me.

A large tumour was discovered; situated in between my lungs, right in front of my heart. The tumour was pressing against my trachea, causing me to have slight breathing difficulties and all that coughing.

I stopped going to school almost immediately. My parents and I went on this journey to seek advice from specialists regarding my condition.

Next, I had a needle biopsy done which confirmed that the tumour consisted of active cancer cells. I had to go for a surgical biopsy to classify what kind of cells were they, so the proper treatment could be administered right away.

The cancer had then spread to my pancreas, kidneys and liver.

Afterwards, I went through six cycles of chemotherapy(R-CHOP) and self-studied for the rest of the year. I was lucky that I was fit enough to sit for my SPM examinations at the end of the year right after my last chemotherapy session scheduled for me was completed. Or else, I wouldn't be able to successfully graduate from secondary school. I had a lot of people telling me to just skip the examinations and relax for a bit, but my stubbornness got the better of me. I was determined enough then and thankfully, I did alright. At least I could fully focus on getting myself treated without worrying that I did not complete even my most basic education in Malaysia.

At the end of 2010, I went for a PET scan. My tumour did shrink, but it was still there.

When 2011 came, I went for radiotherapy this time. I had 25 fractions done.

I thought I was on the road to recovery at long last, but unfortunately…no.

A few days before my scheduled PET scan, I felt extreme soreness at the right side of my abdomen. It made me lose sleep at night, and my coughing fit was back. The oncologist in charge of my treatment for radiotherapy felt something near my right kidney. I went for a PET scan the very next day, and found out that my cancer had spread again. New tumours surrounded both my kidneys once more and my lower spine. Radiotherapy was crossed out from the possible ways of treatment, since the radiation will damage my kidneys, affecting their function tremendously.

I had three more cycles of chemotherapy(R-ICE) done. This proved effective for awhile, but after every session - the cancer would get aggressive and we went back to square one. Finally, it was decided that I was to undergo an autologous stem cell transplant. I had my stem cells harvested, and I went through a few days of high-dose chemotherapy before the transplant. I was hospitalised for a month. I had zero immunity, and blood infections which caused high fever haunted me. I made more trips back to the hospital to rid of the infections.

I am currently under quarantine and recuperating from the transplant; dealing with the side effects from both the transplant and my radiotherapy sessions - causing breathing problems, dizziness, fatigue, etc. The latter is the cause of a now weak heart.

I went for another 27 fractions of radiotherapy due to a tumour above my left kidney discovered by a PET scan in December 2011. My left kidney has lost its function.

Through another bout of coughing, I was advised to go for a chest X-ray and have an ultrasound done at the abdominal area. It is confirmed that my cancer relapsed for the third time. I am now under a new kind of medication.

***
So much had happened throughout me battling cancer.

Other than the physical challenges I have to go through, I also have to deal with my decreasing level of self-esteem and emotional health.

I do admit, I am a typical girl when it comes to me wanting to look pretty. You may call it vanity, but I say it's just me wanting to look presentable and good.

Imagine, I went bald twice; not once, but twice! Surprisingly, no tears came! (I later realised that it’s the process of waiting for my hair to grow again that’s truly challenging.)

This time, I hope I can truly make a full recovery and do my bit for the community. Also, hopefully my cancer journey as a teenager managed to inspire you and give you a more positive outlook on life. Quite a number of us assume that cancer only affects adults. On the contrary, I am a living example that that mindset is certainly untrue. It's not for me to tell you how to live your life, but you only live once, so treasure your life and your loved ones while you still can. Stop and smell the roses once in awhile, and you'll find that life is so fulfilling with just happiness and good health. A successful career, good grades - definite bonuses and great goals, but with life being so unpredictable; you'll never know what might happen next. Be content with what you already have, count your blessings and live life to the fullest without any regrets.

Believe me, I'm speaking from personal experience.

***
Click hereto go back to reading!

Hello again, readers!

This entry is dedicated to everybody who left me tags in my Cbox. Unfortunately, I think some of them got deleted because there were too many words of encouragement and support(my sincerest thanks to everyone who left me a tag!), and at that time I didn't change my settings for my Cbox accountto keep more messages. I managed to retrieve most of them; those that I didn't manage to retrieve back, I really cannot reply you but I can only give you my thanks for your encouraging words and for some of you, suggestions of alternative treatments.

I'll be replying tags from the earliest to the most recent.

Here we go again!

***
@nn, thank you for believing in me! (':

@Pn. Wong, teacher, is that you? :D Thanks so much for dropping by! You take care too! (:

@ayasan, I will definitely try! Thanks!

@C, thanks! Will do! (:

@xx, easier said than done, but will definitely try! Thank you! (:

@guest, thank you! (:

@Edwin, hello there! Thank you so much for your concern, but for now, I have no intentions of setting up a PayPal account. I have my reasons, and this wil be further explained in a separate blog post. I certainly am grateful and glad that there are so many Samaritans out there willing to help me out though!

@uga..., thank you for the love! And I do appreciate the fact that people are keeping me in their prayers! (:

@guest, haha, I doubt that everyone loves me, but I do know that there are people who do! Thanks!

@hope, no pun intended, but I hope so too! Thanks!

@Unwritten, thanks! I hope that everything will be okay, eventually. (:

@candice, nice of you to drop by! And thanks! (:

@hong, hey there! Thank you so much for your tag! Well, I was too tired from my stem cell transplant and the side effects were wearing me out months afterwards to even go online, hence the lack of updates. I've been trying to update as often as possible now. Thanks for checking often!

@way, awwww, thanks! (:

@vivian, hello there! I do apologise for the super late reply. I'm sorry to hear about your condition, I do hope you're on the road to recovery! Sure we can be friends! Feel free to e-mail me here: dancingpapercranes@live.com

Hope to hear from you soon, Vivian! (:

@ex-junior, hi there! Thanks for your well-wishes! (:

@iqa, awwww, thank you! I'm glad that my story could broaden your perspectives. Will do! (:

@LJ, that's really nice to know! Thank you!

@JW, thank you so much! You too!

@~Si3wLiNg~, when I was still undergoing the transplant, I'd been advised by my doctor to not dabble with alternative treatments, because it could bring more harm to my health if the effects from both treatments were to clash. If you would really like to let me know more about energy healing, you could send me an e-mail to dancingpapercranes@live.com. Thanks!

@Nikisa Izas, thank you! (:

@Believer, wow, I'm really flattered! Thank you so much for your compliment and the well-wishes! :D

@kalis, awwwww! Thanks! (':

@h, I don't really understand your tag, but thanks for dropping by anyway!

@Zettiey, hi there! No, I never tried alternative treatments before because I'd been advised by my doctor to not involve myself with alternative treatments. The results of alternative treatments vary among patients - it could be harmful, it could cure one of cancer. Meanwhile, I'm not going to take any risks. Thanks for the well-wishes, though! (:

@Hope, I'm glad to hear that! Thanks! (:

@Lynette, thanks so much! :]

@ugashni, thanks for the love! (:

@Somebody, thanks for keeping me in your prayers! (:

@Arynna, will do! Thank you! (:

@X, awwww, thank you so much! :]

@charmaine, my doctor is a very knowledgeable haematologist too, and I trust him in treating me. Thanks for the info anyway! (:

@AAA, appreciating the love from across the Causeway! Thank you! (:

@blogwalker, thank you! I think I'm doing alright at the moment. I really hope that I'm well on the road to recovery! (:

@Alvin Lee, hey! I saw your Facebook message, but haven't got to replying you yet. Do bear with me, and sorry about that! (:

@Anonymous, thank you!

@stranger, thank you for the compliment! (':

@roslinda, thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers! I'm really sorry to hear about your niece's condition though. I hope she's doing well and is recovering!

@AnotherOne, that's really nice to know! Thank you so much! (:

@cha, I won't give up that easily. Thanks! (:

@kit, definitely! ;)

@fran, thank you so much for the compliments! I'm glad that my story helped you realised how lucky you are. Cheers! (:

@Dorothea, hey! No way would I just regard you as just another stranger! That would be disrespecting you and everyone else that had commented even though I don't personally know them in real life. Thank you so much for your tag and for keeping me in your prayers, I really appreciate that a lot! (':

@Mika, nice to know! Thanks! (:

@Sheree, well, I'm sure all of us have our complaints about life. It's just about who's more fortunate and who isn't. What life throws to us, we have to face instead of running away. Anyway, thank you so much for everything! :'D

@leonie g, hello there, reader of the same name! Thank you so much for the well-wishes and the compliments! Super appreciated. (':

@mizah, I will. (:

@angie, thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers! And there's no need to be ashamed for whining about your life. We all do, actually. It's what makes us human. (:

@paula, thank you for the prayers! (:

@HI, awwww, thank you! (':

@Ashley, thank you so much Ashley! I really appreciate your tag. :D

@c, thank you! (:

@Jasmine, thanks for the well-wishes! (:

@ur junior, you don't need to hope. I will stay strong. (:

@nadya, will do! Thank you!

@zah, thanks! Will do!

@ins, thank you! (:

@BK, thank you so much for the well-wishes and for dropping by my blog! I really appreciate it a lot. (:

@Carmen, ah, thank you so much! :'D

@Hanne, thank you! (:

@destiny, thanks!

@Clara, thank you for the compliment! I'm glad to know that I inspire people. It's the least I could do. (:

@nick, thank you! (:

@Vanessa,, hi there! Thank you so much for your compliments! They really do make me feel better about myself. (':

@Grant, I won't! (:

@c, thank you so much for leaving so many tags. (:

@Gail, really nice to know! Thanks! :D

@yishien, thank you!

@Jane, thank you! Much appreciated. (:

@ShazrolAzly, thank you so much! I really appreciate that! (:

@Jen, my thanks to you too! Yes, I'll keep that in mind. (:

@jy, will do! Thanks! (:

@krystie, thank you so much for your support! :'D

@mic, thanks! (:

@cheering you on, thank you! That's really nice to know! :D

@Alvina, thank you for keeping me in your prayers! Really appreciate that a lot! (':

@anon, thank you!

@asd, I'm so sorry for the late reply! Thank you so much for wanting to help me out though! (:

@Ash, awwwww, thank you! (':

@Yu Hong, thank you! (:

@hellosunshine, thank you for your tag! :]

@YSL, thank you! (:

@suzane, you're right on that one! Thank you so much! :]

@MH, thanks for the info! (:

@ashley, thank you! (:

@evelyn, hello there! Thank you so much for wanting to help me out! Financially, I'm currently quite alright for now. But if there's anything, I'll definitely send you an e-mail. Thanks once again! (':

@Inti-an, thank you! :D

@addin syah, glad to know my story inspires you! ;)

***I'll give another proper update soon, I hope!

Cheers, everyone!

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Shin.1966 - 2009. "She lives forever in the hearts of those who knew her, and know of her."
I watched a documentary about her battle against cancer on Mediacorp's Channel 8 in 2008, back when I was still fifteen. I was really touched by her strong will and constant optimism despite her condition.

I found her blog and sent her an e-mail, expressing how wowed I am by her. All I wanted then was to tell her to keep up the good fight, and she was doing at good job at it; I learnt a lot about life in that one night through her documentary and blog entries than in my fifteen years of living life - complaining and whining when I was actually one lucky brat. I honestly didn't expect her to reply.

Guess what? She did.

I would like to share her reply to me with all of my readers. It also works as a reminder to me that I should keep up the good fight as well. I hope she doesn't mind, but I personally don't think she will; bless her good soul.

11th November 2008.

Leonie,

Thanks for your kind e-mail. It's taken me a while to respond because I only just saw it. I look at my Gmail account once every week or so. This Yahoo account is more reliable if you want to contact me.

I truly appreciate your words of praise and encouragement.

You say that you're a 15-year-old Malaysian student and that you're not good with words? You should know that your short note was more articulate, well-written, and intelligently expressed than most of the comments I've been getting - many of them, adult professionals.

I don't know what you plan on doing with your future, but with your gift of expression, I think you've got a bright future ahead of you, professionally. And more important, you seem to have a maturity and insight beyond your age. I'm betting that you go on do something great with your life - not in terms of money or fame, but something that will make a difference to the people and the community around you.

Thanks, and good luck to you.

Shin

*** Shin had really good foresight. Even if I personally don't think so, I guess my friends, acquaintances, and strangers who have got to know of my cancer journey will agree that I did manage to 'make a difference to the people and the community around me.'

Rest in peace, Shin. My only regret then was that I didn't get to reply your e-mail in time. Cancer took you away not long after, and this will always bug my conscience for being such a procrastinator.

But you have enlightened me in so many ways, and you continue to live in my heart as my inspiration to keep up the good fight.

Keep up the good fight. That should work well as a personal motto.

To my readers who want to know more of this amazing person, do visit her blog at http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com and watch the documentary I watched by clicking on this link.

Thank you Shin. Thank you for making such a difference to my life.

©Photo of Shin belongs to her family members.

Click hereto go back to reading.

Hello again, readers!

This entry is dedicated to everybody who left me tags in my Cbox. Unfortunately, I think some of them got deleted because there were too many words of encouragement and support(my sincerest thanks to everyone who left me a tag!), and at that time I didn't change my settings for my Cbox accountto keep more messages. I managed to retrieve most of them; those that I didn't manage to retrieve back, I really cannot reply you but I can only give you my thanks for your encouraging words and for some of you, suggestions of alternative treatments.

I'll be replying tags from the earliest to the most recent.

Here we go again!

***
@nn, thank you for believing in me! (':

@Pn. Wong, teacher, is that you? :D Thanks so much for dropping by! You take care too! (:

@ayasan, I will definitely try! Thanks!

@C, thanks! Will do! (:

@xx, easier said than done, but will definitely try! Thank you! (:

@guest, thank you! (:

@Edwin, hello there! Thank you so much for your concern, but for now, I have no intentions of setting up a PayPal account. I have my reasons, and this wil be further explained in a separate blog post. I certainly am grateful and glad that there are so many Samaritans out there willing to help me out though!

@uga..., thank you for the love! And I do appreciate the fact that people are keeping me in their prayers! (:

@guest, haha, I doubt that everyone loves me, but I do know that there are people who do! Thanks!

@hope, no pun intended, but I hope so too! Thanks!

@Unwritten, thanks! I hope that everything will be okay, eventually. (:

@candice, nice of you to drop by! And thanks! (:

@hong, hey there! Thank you so much for your tag! Well, I was too tired from my stem cell transplant and the side effects were wearing me out months afterwards to even go online, hence the lack of updates. I've been trying to update as often as possible now. Thanks for checking often!

@way, awwww, thanks! (:

@vivian, hello there! I do apologise for the super late reply. I'm sorry to hear about your condition, I do hope you're on the road to recovery! Sure we can be friends! Feel free to e-mail me here: dancingpapercranes@live.com

Hope to hear from you soon, Vivian! (:

@ex-junior, hi there! Thanks for your well-wishes! (:

@iqa, awwww, thank you! I'm glad that my story could broaden your perspectives. Will do! (:

@LJ, that's really nice to know! Thank you!

@JW, thank you so much! You too!

@~Si3wLiNg~, when I was still undergoing the transplant, I'd been advised by my doctor to not dabble with alternative treatments, because it could bring more harm to my health if the effects from both treatments were to clash. If you would really like to let me know more about energy healing, you could send me an e-mail to dancingpapercranes@live.com. Thanks!

@Nikisa Izas, thank you! (:

@Believer, wow, I'm really flattered! Thank you so much for your compliment and the well-wishes! :D

@kalis, awwwww! Thanks! (':

@h, I don't really understand your tag, but thanks for dropping by anyway!

@Zettiey, hi there! No, I never tried alternative treatments before because I'd been advised by my doctor to not involve myself with alternative treatments. The results of alternative treatments vary among patients - it could be harmful, it could cure one of cancer. Meanwhile, I'm not going to take any risks. Thanks for the well-wishes, though! (:

@Hope, I'm glad to hear that! Thanks! (:

@Lynette, thanks so much! :]

@ugashni, thanks for the love! (:

@Somebody, thanks for keeping me in your prayers! (:

@Arynna, will do! Thank you! (:

@X, awwww, thank you so much! :]

@charmaine, my doctor is a very knowledgeable haematologist too, and I trust him in treating me. Thanks for the info anyway! (:

@AAA, appreciating the love from across the Causeway! Thank you! (:

@blogwalker, thank you! I think I'm doing alright at the moment. I really hope that I'm well on the road to recovery! (:

@Alvin Lee, hey! I saw your Facebook message, but haven't got to replying you yet. Do bear with me, and sorry about that! (:

@Anonymous, thank you!

@stranger, thank you for the compliment! (':

@roslinda, thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers! I'm really sorry to hear about your niece's condition though. I hope she's doing well and is recovering!

@AnotherOne, that's really nice to know! Thank you so much! (:

@cha, I won't give up that easily. Thanks! (:

@kit, definitely! ;)

@fran, thank you so much for the compliments! I'm glad that my story helped you realised how lucky you are. Cheers! (:

@Dorothea, hey! No way would I just regard you as just another stranger! That would be disrespecting you and everyone else that had commented even though I don't personally know them in real life. Thank you so much for your tag and for keeping me in your prayers, I really appreciate that a lot! (':

@Mika, nice to know! Thanks! (:

@Sheree, well, I'm sure all of us have our complaints about life. It's just about who's more fortunate and who isn't. What life throws to us, we have to face instead of running away. Anyway, thank you so much for everything! :'D

@leonie g, hello there, reader of the same name! Thank you so much for the well-wishes and the compliments! Super appreciated. (':

@mizah, I will. (:

@angie, thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers! And there's no need to be ashamed for whining about your life. We all do, actually. It's what makes us human. (:

@paula, thank you for the prayers! (:

@HI, awwww, thank you! (':

@Ashley, thank you so much Ashley! I really appreciate your tag. :D

@c, thank you! (:

@Jasmine, thanks for the well-wishes! (:

@ur junior, you don't need to hope. I will stay strong. (:

@nadya, will do! Thank you!

@zah, thanks! Will do!

@ins, thank you! (:

@BK, thank you so much for the well-wishes and for dropping by my blog! I really appreciate it a lot. (:

@Carmen, ah, thank you so much! :'D

@Hanne, thank you! (:

@destiny, thanks!

@Clara, thank you for the compliment! I'm glad to know that I inspire people. It's the least I could do. (:

@nick, thank you! (:

@Vanessa,, hi there! Thank you so much for your compliments! They really do make me feel better about myself. (':

@Grant, I won't! (:

@c, thank you so much for leaving so many tags. (:

@Gail, really nice to know! Thanks! :D

@yishien, thank you!

@Jane, thank you! Much appreciated. (:

@ShazrolAzly, thank you so much! I really appreciate that! (:

@Jen, my thanks to you too! Yes, I'll keep that in mind. (:

@jy, will do! Thanks! (:

@krystie, thank you so much for your support! :'D

@mic, thanks! (:

@cheering you on, thank you! That's really nice to know! :D

@Alvina, thank you for keeping me in your prayers! Really appreciate that a lot! (':

@anon, thank you!

@asd, I'm so sorry for the late reply! Thank you so much for wanting to help me out though! (:

@Ash, awwwww, thank you! (':

@Yu Hong, thank you! (:

@hellosunshine, thank you for your tag! :]

@YSL, thank you! (:

@suzane, you're right on that one! Thank you so much! :]

@MH, thanks for the info! (:

@ashley, thank you! (:

@evelyn, hello there! Thank you so much for wanting to help me out! Financially, I'm currently quite alright for now. But if there's anything, I'll definitely send you an e-mail. Thanks once again! (':

@Inti-an, thank you! :D

@addin syah, glad to know my story inspires you! ;)

***I'll give another proper update soon, I hope!

Cheers, everyone!

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