Profile
Hello! I'm Leonie. I’m from Malaysia. I am nineteen this year, and I have Non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma - a kind of blood cancer. I’m just trying to live my life to the fullest, without any regrets. I'm grateful that I’m still able to wake up to a brand new day and know that I'm still alive.
I refuse to refer to my condition as a disease. I would rather phrase it as a 'series of unfortunate events'.
I learn something new with each passing day. This is the story of my journey, and you're welcome to follow me in every step that I take.
If you would like to learn more about me and my condition, feel free to click on the navigations below. If you have any queries or would just like to say hello, drop me an e-mail at dancingpapercranes@live.com.my and I'll try to respond as soon as possible!
Cheers!
Cancer in My Point of View
I was officially diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Mediastinal Large B-cell Lymphoma in July 2010. I was seventeen. I was in Form 5; my last year of secondary school, preparing to sit for the SPM examinations.
I would consider myself an average teenager - a girl who just wanted to have fun, with her quirks; trying to survive life as a teen.
It all started with me coughing non-stop after a bout of the common flu. Despite making several trips to my family doctor's clinic, the cough just won't seem to go away even after months of being under medication. Several prescriptions of cough drops later, my family doctor suggested to my parents and I to have a chest X-ray done for me.
A large tumour was discovered; situated in between my lungs, right in front of my heart. The tumour was pressing against my trachea, causing me to have slight breathing difficulties and all that coughing.
I stopped going to school almost immediately. My parents and I went on this journey to seek advice from specialists regarding my condition.
Next, I had a needle biopsy done which confirmed that the tumour consisted of active cancer cells. I had to go for a surgical biopsy to classify what kind of cells were they, so the proper treatment could be administered right away.
The cancer had then spread to my pancreas, kidneys and liver.
Afterwards, I went through six cycles of chemotherapy(R-CHOP) and self-studied for the rest of the year. I was lucky that I was fit enough to sit for my SPM examinations at the end of the year right after my last chemotherapy session scheduled for me was completed. Or else, I wouldn't be able to successfully graduate from secondary school. I had a lot of people telling me to just skip the examinations and relax for a bit, but my stubbornness got the better of me. I was determined enough then and thankfully, I did alright. At least I could fully focus on getting myself treated without worrying that I did not complete even my most basic education in Malaysia.
At the end of 2010, I went for a PET scan. My tumour did shrink, but it was still there.
When 2011 came, I went for radiotherapy this time. I had 25 fractions done.
I thought I was on the road to recovery at long last, but unfortunately…no.
A few days before my scheduled PET scan, I felt extreme soreness at the right side of my abdomen. It made me lose sleep at night, and my coughing fit was back. The oncologist in charge of my treatment for radiotherapy felt something near my right kidney. I went for a PET scan the very next day, and found out that my cancer had spread again. New tumours surrounded both my kidneys once more and my lower spine. Radiotherapy was crossed out from the possible ways of treatment, since the radiation will damage my kidneys, affecting their function tremendously.
I had three more cycles of chemotherapy(R-ICE) done. This proved effective for awhile, but after every session - the cancer would get aggressive and we went back to square one. Finally, it was decided that I was to undergo an autologous stem cell transplant. I had my stem cells harvested, and I went through a few days of high-dose chemotherapy before the transplant. I was hospitalised for a month. I had zero immunity, and blood infections which caused high fever haunted me. I made more trips back to the hospital to rid of the infections.
I am currently under quarantine and recuperating from the transplant; dealing with the side effects from both the transplant and my radiotherapy sessions - causing breathing problems, dizziness, fatigue, etc. The latter is the cause of a now weak heart.
I went for another 27 fractions of radiotherapy due to a tumour above my left kidney discovered by a PET scan in December 2011. My left kidney has lost its function.
Through another bout of coughing, I was advised to go for a chest X-ray and have an ultrasound done at the abdominal area. It is confirmed that my cancer relapsed for the third time. I am now under a new kind of medication.
***
So much had happened throughout me battling cancer.
Other than the physical challenges I have to go through, I also have to deal with my decreasing level of self-esteem and emotional health.
I do admit, I am a typical girl when it comes to me wanting to look pretty. You may call it vanity, but I say it's just me wanting to look presentable and good.
Imagine, I went bald twice; not once, but twice! Surprisingly, no tears came! (I later realised that it’s the process of waiting for my hair to grow again that’s truly challenging.)
This time, I hope I can truly make a full recovery and do my bit for the community. Also, hopefully my cancer journey as a teenager managed to inspire you and give you a more positive outlook on life. Quite a number of us assume that cancer only affects adults. On the contrary, I am a living example that that mindset is certainly untrue. It's not for me to tell you how to live your life, but you only live once, so treasure your life and your loved ones while you still can. Stop and smell the roses once in awhile, and you'll find that life is so fulfilling with just happiness and good health. A successful career, good grades - definite bonuses and great goals, but with life being so unpredictable; you'll never know what might happen next. Be content with what you already have, count your blessings and live life to the fullest without any regrets.
Believe me, I'm speaking from personal experience.
***
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22:38
Sunday 22 August 2010
decisions decisions.
If there's something I really regret, it's the fact that I didn't open this blog right away on the 5th of July. Why the 5th of July, of all dates? Well, that particular day is the day when it all started. I was so caught up in going for X-rays, scans, and seeking different specialists' opinions on my then not known condition, I never really had the idea of opening a cancer blog. Of course, maybe I can't fully be blamed for that. Then, I have no idea that I have cancer. It never struck me that I'll get cancer at seventeen. I was just praying and hoping that my tumour does not consist of cancerous cells. Who knows? It could be just random lumps of body cells that won't cause me any harm. You may say that's merely wishful thinking on my part, but I'd always thought I am a fairly healthy person. Sure, I just fell sick more often than I really should for the past two years. But I do keep to a healthy lifestyle. I frequently exercise. I do sports. I used to be good at sports like running, high jump and long jump. I said I used to be good because apparently, I can't seem to excel at these sports anymore, maybe with the exception of running. I did well for my recent fitness evaluation that was conducted in school. I don't take fizzy drinks except for isotonic ones. For example, I have not drank Coke, Pepsi and any other fizzy drinks with colouring since years ago. I include a lot of vegetables and fruits in my diet. When we eat out, my parents will request for less salt and oil to be added in the cooking. My mother, of course, adds a very little amount of salt and oil to her dishes. My family is already used to such food. I rarely consume fast food as well. Maybe that's why a lot of people were shocked when they found out I have cancer at this age. I myself was shocked too, at first. In a society where cancer is becoming rampant among individuals, regardless of age, colour, social background, and lifestyle - we really need to become more health-conscious. I don't mean health freaks or people who are obsessed with health all the time. But it's really important to take note of your health and adopt a healthy lifestyle. I don't mean to sound like I'm writing a typical essay about healthy lifestyles for school. Neither do I want to sound like I'm lecturing my readers about what they should do with their lives. I also don't want to sound corny and typical, and use proverbs like 'health is wealth'. You have no idea how much that proverb is true though. If you don't have a healthy body and mind, won't you be spending a lot on medication, whether it's long-term or short-term?
Even if you can afford the medical fees, is being sick worth the pain, the suffering and the physical and emotional burden it brings?
Think about it.
Anyway, I will be gradually writing about my experience from the 5th of July onwards in this blog. Hopefully I don't forget any important details. Stay tuned, readers. Cheers! Labels: medical procedures, musings
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Living As An Inspiration
Shin.1966 - 2009. "She lives forever in the hearts of those who knew her,
and know of her."
I watched a documentary about her battle against cancer on Mediacorp's Channel 8 in 2008, back when I was still fifteen. I was really touched by her strong will and constant optimism despite her condition.
I found her blog and sent her an e-mail, expressing how wowed I am by her. All I wanted then was to tell her to keep up the good fight, and she was doing at good job at it; I learnt a lot about life in that one night through her documentary and blog entries than in my fifteen years of living life - complaining and whining when I was actually one lucky brat. I honestly didn't expect her to reply.
Guess what? She did.
I would like to share her reply to me with all of my readers. It also works as a reminder to me that I should keep up the good fight as well. I hope she doesn't mind, but I personally don't think she will; bless her good soul.
11th November 2008.
Leonie,
Thanks for your kind e-mail. It's taken me a while to respond because I only just saw it. I look at my Gmail account once every week or so. This Yahoo account is more reliable if you want to contact me.
I truly appreciate your words of praise and encouragement.
You say that you're a 15-year-old Malaysian student and that you're not good with words? You should know that your short note was more articulate, well-written, and intelligently expressed than most of the comments I've been getting - many of them, adult professionals.
I don't know what you plan on doing with your future, but with your gift of expression, I think you've got a bright future ahead of you, professionally. And more important, you seem to have a maturity and insight beyond your age. I'm betting that you go on do something great with your life - not in terms of money or fame, but something that will make a difference to the people and the community around you.
Thanks, and good luck to you.
Shin
*** Shin had really good foresight. Even if I personally don't think so, I guess my friends, acquaintances, and strangers who have got to know of my cancer journey will agree that I did manage to 'make a difference to the people and the community around me.'
Rest in peace, Shin. My only regret then was that I didn't get to reply your e-mail in time. Cancer took you away not long after, and this will always bug my conscience for being such a procrastinator.
But you have enlightened me in so many ways, and you continue to live in my heart as my inspiration to keep up the good fight.
Keep up the good fight. That should work well as a personal motto.
To my readers who want to know more of this amazing person, do visit her blog at http://shinscancerblog.blogspot.com and watch the documentary I watched by clicking on this link.
Thank you Shin. Thank you for making such a difference to my life.
©Photo of Shin belongs to her family members. Click hereto go back to reading.
Links
| Ming Wei | Riaane |
Clare's 1000 Paper Cranes Project Lymphoma Coalition Mesothelioma Cancer Alliance Blog Notes Left Behind The Cure Starts Now The Ulman Cancer Fund
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22:38
Sunday 22 August 2010
decisions decisions.
If there's something I really regret, it's the fact that I didn't open this blog right away on the 5th of July. Why the 5th of July, of all dates? Well, that particular day is the day when it all started. I was so caught up in going for X-rays, scans, and seeking different specialists' opinions on my then not known condition, I never really had the idea of opening a cancer blog. Of course, maybe I can't fully be blamed for that. Then, I have no idea that I have cancer. It never struck me that I'll get cancer at seventeen. I was just praying and hoping that my tumour does not consist of cancerous cells. Who knows? It could be just random lumps of body cells that won't cause me any harm. You may say that's merely wishful thinking on my part, but I'd always thought I am a fairly healthy person. Sure, I just fell sick more often than I really should for the past two years. But I do keep to a healthy lifestyle. I frequently exercise. I do sports. I used to be good at sports like running, high jump and long jump. I said I used to be good because apparently, I can't seem to excel at these sports anymore, maybe with the exception of running. I did well for my recent fitness evaluation that was conducted in school. I don't take fizzy drinks except for isotonic ones. For example, I have not drank Coke, Pepsi and any other fizzy drinks with colouring since years ago. I include a lot of vegetables and fruits in my diet. When we eat out, my parents will request for less salt and oil to be added in the cooking. My mother, of course, adds a very little amount of salt and oil to her dishes. My family is already used to such food. I rarely consume fast food as well. Maybe that's why a lot of people were shocked when they found out I have cancer at this age. I myself was shocked too, at first. In a society where cancer is becoming rampant among individuals, regardless of age, colour, social background, and lifestyle - we really need to become more health-conscious. I don't mean health freaks or people who are obsessed with health all the time. But it's really important to take note of your health and adopt a healthy lifestyle. I don't mean to sound like I'm writing a typical essay about healthy lifestyles for school. Neither do I want to sound like I'm lecturing my readers about what they should do with their lives. I also don't want to sound corny and typical, and use proverbs like 'health is wealth'. You have no idea how much that proverb is true though. If you don't have a healthy body and mind, won't you be spending a lot on medication, whether it's long-term or short-term?
Even if you can afford the medical fees, is being sick worth the pain, the suffering and the physical and emotional burden it brings?
Think about it.
Anyway, I will be gradually writing about my experience from the 5th of July onwards in this blog. Hopefully I don't forget any important details. Stay tuned, readers. Cheers! Labels: medical procedures, musings
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